As I sat in a crowded movie theatre, watching The Great Gatsby (yes it has been out for almost a month and I finally went and saw it two days ago), I had a revelation and cried during a more happy scene in the movie. It was when Gatsby, played by Leonardo Dicaprio, said about the first time he met Daisy, who was played by Carry Mulligan:
“I knew the moment that I kissed her that we were forever wed.”
And somehow, for some strange reason, I began to silently cry in the movie theatre as I watched these two people inevitably lose each other forever. I would feel a tug at my heart and a twist in my stomach every time Gatsby said he was Daisy’s true husband and that they were truly husband and wife, despite Daisy being legally married to another man.
But this is frequent in the realm of literature. Take my favorite book of all time, Wuthering Heights, in which Heathcliff says he and Cathy were soul mates and wed since their first meeting as children. Or in the John Ford play, ‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore, in which Giovanni repeatedly proclaims Annabella as his wife and when she is married to another man, despite her carrying his child, he kills her and takes her heart, saying his is entombed within hers the entire time. Or even the classic (insert eye roll here) love story, Romeo and Juliet, where they call each other husband and wife and proclaim an eternal love worth dying for. But is it possible to have a husband or wife without being legally married to them?
Yes. Yes there is.
I have friends who have felt that they have found their “soul mates” and the relationships did not work out, not because of anger or hurt, but just because they didn’t work at the time. Some have moved on, despite still holding a piece of their heart and soul separate for that previous person; and others have never been able to completely move on and hope they will reunite one day.
But in all honesty, it is because of my own personal relationship that I cried during this scene. He and I started dating about 7 months ago and he has honestly been the best thing in my life. I never felt as much love nor have loved anyone as much as I have loved him. And since being away from him on summer vacation, I have felt like there is a hole slowly bleeding in my chest. I miss him and sometimes start to randomly cry because I miss him, despite him being a text or phone call away. Every day I still wear every piece of jewelry he has ever bought me. And I can’t listen to “Lights” without starting to cry and at night I sleep on the right side, which is where I usually sleep when we are together.
We call each other husband and wife and talk about our futures together– where we will live, the names of our three children, and how we will take care of them with both of us with overly busy careers. We talk for hours a day, from when we get up until one of us (usually me) falls asleep.
So, I wrote this because I thought about the concept of not being married to your husband or wife, but being legally wed to someone else whom you love but isn’t “the one.” And after reading all of this over again, I know I can’t let that happen to me or others. Now, is there the chance that unforeseen circumstances could arise for any of us and pull us away for a period of time?
But will we hopefully come back together or hold onto the other person for as long as we both live, or even beyond that?
So, with this piece of writing, I am saying that to the man whom I am so happily with, I am your wife and you are my husband. I will forever say “I do” to you and give my heart and soul strictly to you. You are the only man who can put a ring on any of my fingers and will feel empty without it somewhere on me. And you are the only man I will ever unconditionally love.
And, as a loved man once said, We are Forever Wed.